What is your favorite insult?

Survey Says:
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries" ~Monty Python and the Holy Grail (3)
"Yir maw's goat baws an' yir faither luvs it."
"Translation of hypocrisy, profound simplicity, vilely compiled." -Love's Labour Lost
"Yer Mom" jokes (1.5)
"Anything comparing a feature to [my brother]"
Personally, I'm still wavering between "No-talent ass clown" of Office Space fame and "Hoochie McAssFace" from a particularly entertaining point in my undergraduate career.

Analysis:
We're not all that creative, but at least we appreciate a good insult.

What is something you don't remember that you think you should?

Survey Says:
Basic Spelling
"Everything about American history and the founding fathers and all that."
"My senior year locker number"
"The name of the first play I performed in"
"The name of my softball team during junior high"
"My birthday"
"pi to 100 digits"
"To pack socks"


Analysis:
Again, my respondents, you surprise me. I was expecting more of you to take advantage of the paradox, but alas, I learn from my own ambiguity. I thought I might get at least a few "The last time I saw my..." or "the first time I..." stories. And I'm pretty surprised that I didn't get any "that night at the club after my seventh drink..." Not one. I guess we encounter differing definitions of "should" in this case. =) Thanks for playing, everyone. See you next week.

What is the most intense dream you've ever had?

Survey Says:
Parents Dying (2)
"Last night I dreamed that I shot at the tv"
Being chased by the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
Sex with a celebrity
Abstain (2)
When I was younger, I dreamt of being kidnapped by these uniformed people parachuting from the sky. That was a recurring one that was pretty intense. More recently, I have consistently intense dreams about people screaming my insecurities at me or about not being able to breathe, though I'm not sure which wins the title. I'm beginning to understand the high level of abstention.



Analysis:
Dreams are weird.

What song or song title best describes today?

(RQoD from April 25th)

Survey Says:
What I did for love
Taking care of business
Let me sleep on it (Meat Loaf)
Awful Beautiful Life
Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life
My Own Worst Enemy


Analysis:
It could be worse?

If you could elect any celebrity team to the White House, who would it be?

Survey Says:

Kermit and Miss Piggy
John Stewart and Stephen Colbert
The Harlem Globetrotters*
Arnold Schwarzenegger**
Thing 1 and Thing 2


Analysis:
I live in DC. I have GOT to know more people than that with an opinion on this topic. Seriously, folks.

*The explanation for this choice: "they'd pass their fiscal policy behind the back, shoot the trick shot of political spin, throw the ally-oop of socialized health care, and make an economic slam dunk of epic proportions"
**Not a team

If you could save one species that is currently endangered or extinct, what would it be?

This RQoD is brought to you in part by Earth Day. Also, if you need some options besides "dinosaurs" (which aren't technically a species), here's a list: http://eelink.net/EndSpp.old.bak/ES.lists.html

Also, I've had an allegedly fictional species suggested already, so unless we can prove it never existed, I suppose it counts.


Survey Says:
Brontosaurus (2)
Dodo Bird
Unicorn



Analysis:

What is your favorite "nostalgia toy" from your childhood?

Survey Says:

Cabbage Patch Kids
Loopin' Louie
Commodore 64
Sit-n-Spin
Ghost Busters Ghost Catching Gun
Voltron - METAL
Game Boy

Analysis:
We're old.

If you could bestow one trait upon future generations, what would it be?

Survey Says (so far):

Sense of Humor
Openmindedness
Stewardship
Empathy
Responsibility
"my calves"


Analysis:
What a wonderful world it would be...

What should have a celebrated National Holiday that currently doesn't?

Survey Says:

"The Muppets"
"Me"/"My birthday"
"Batman's Birthday"
"My vagina"
"Election Day"
"Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Day"
"Cheesecake"

Note: none of these is my response, despite the multiple uses of the possessive "my." I've already decided that there should be a National Gerund Day, a National Irony Day and a National Random Question of the Day Day.

If you could be doing absolutely anything right now, what would it be?

Survey Says:

Having Sex (2)
Sleeping
Sailing in Central America
Anywhere but here
And again, a disproportionate number of references to Europe.
A recent addition from the more socially conscious side of my circle of friends:
"Given the circumstances, go back in time to Sunday night and create a massive rapture of all the guns and bullets in the world. I'm tired of suicidal crazy people needing to take everyone down with them."

Here, here. World Peace.

Analysis:
I think almost every answer to this question was sleep, sex, other countries, or some combination thereof.
For the record, my response would combine all three.

What is the first memory that comes to mind?

(RQoD April 13)

Survey says:

I got a lot of "in the womb," "being born," "crawling/falling out of my crib" memories here, though what I actually meant by this poorly worded question was more of a word-association type of thing - when asked for a memory, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

I like this question because it's different for me at every moment of the day. Just now, for example, I remember hiding in the branches of the giant magnolia tree in my Southern Georgia front yard.

I did get one "being picked on in elementary school" and a disproportionate number of "Eiffel Tower" responses.

Feel free to leave random memories in the comments for this one.

What should be taxed that isn't taxed already?

Survey Says:

Bad Grammar
Carbon Monoxide emissions
Pot
Cheesecake


We've done well so far on this one, considering that not many things fall into this category at all. Please leave additional responses in the comments.

What was the most influential "good-bye" in your life?

Survey Says:

You guys didn't provide many solid answers for this one. In fact, there were only two answers at all:

My math teacher
My pacifier.


Let's step it up for tomorrow, eh?

If you were a type of punctuation, what would you be?

(RQoD from April 9, 2007)

Survey Says:

! (2)
; (2)
' (1)
... (2)
?! (1)
_ (1)

What WOULDN'T you do for a million dollars?

(RQoD from March 29, 2007)

Survey Says:

Kill someone
Harm my family
Move to Houston
Ride a Rollercoaster


Um, okay.

If you had to pick one moment in history to go back and experience firsthand, what would it be?

(RQoD from March 28, 2007)

Survey Says:

- The creation of the world - in fast motion
- A date with Jesus (technically not a moment in history, but interesting nonetheless, especially after the discussion of potential Jesus pickup lines ensued)
- the first time someone figured out how to make bread

What type of chair best represents your personality?

(RQoD from March 30, 2007)

Survey Says:

Beanbag chair (2)
A recliner of some sort (2)
The chair I'm in now
A spinning office chair
Electric Chair (yikes)

A brief history of Random Questions of the Day

Per requests from friends who shall remain nameless (and numberless for that matter), I have decided to post responses to my Random Questions of the Day. Featured here are the questions from the first weeks of this time-honored tradition. I intend, by the way, to petition for a National Random Question of the Day Day.

If you have additional responses not featured here, please feel free to leave them among(st) the comments. Also, if you can provide any synonyms for the word "response" besides "answer," that would be most appreciated.

Here we go:

Complete the sentence "If I were a pirate..."
"...I'd have a wench on every island!"
"...I'd have a monkey on my shoulder instead of a parrot. But he would still say things liks "polly want a cracker" to confuse my enemies."
"...I'd totally dress like Jack Sparrow."

If you had to eliminate one letter of the alphabet, which would it be?
W (2)
F (1)
Y (2)

What do you think was the most influential snack food of all time?
Popcorn (3)
The Pretzel
Girl Scout Cookies
Twinkies
Goldfish

What do you consider the single most terrifying word?
AIDS
Herpes (2)
Death

Who is your favorite villain of all time?
Gargamel (2)
The Joker (2)
Iago (both from Aladdin and Othello)
Ursula*
Shredder
Dr. Octopus
Judge Claude Frollo (Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame) "because he doesn't need a sidekick; he's evil all by himself."

*While I LOVE Ursula, who got a billing already, I believe my favorite(s) would be a tie between the Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil (from Dangerous Liaisons, the protagonist, but debatably a villain) and Spike (from Buffy).

If you had to choose one sound you'd never hear again, what would it be?
My alarm clock (2)
A pin dropping "because you can't actually hear that anyway, so I wouldn't be missing anything"
The sound of a knife on a plate/Nails on a chalkboard
People chewing

Who is your favorite cartoon character of all time?
Among my definite responses were:
Optimus Prime
The Pink Panther
Brain (from Pinky and the Brain) (2)
The Little Mermaid
Rainbow Brite


This has been a Random Question of the Day (tm) production. RQoD initially began in January 2007 with a survey to determine how many people (and an approximate gender breakdown of those who) can actually recite the Contra Code properly. It has since grown exponentially to incorporate questions of a more thought provoking and internationally significant nature, and to appear in digital publications including my away message and this blog.

WELCOME!

Welcome to Random Question of the Day!

You'll find here a series of random questions and some of my favorite and not-so-favorite responses. A study in sociology, if you will. A foray into the human psyche. Or, you know, another way to procrastinate on the internet.

Regardless, Enjoy!